Nature is all around. It is the eyes and ears of all creatures.

so i haven't said anything all summer long.

this summer was the best by far to have stay home. i mean it would have been nice to go somewhere for a week, but that is ok. i hung out with cool people each week, went to parties, played mafia, and made new friends. i don't want it to end, but in a week it does. at least it will end with many good memories and perhaps more to come.

my roommate, alex, seems like a really cool girl so i am super excited about that. hopefuly the 2 girls sharing our bathroom with us will not mind having a duck themed bathroom. :D

the worst thing about the summer was finally something i secretly did kind of want, but had not really focused on, came partly true. there was one major problem which just screwed me over and there is nothing i can do... at least i know what it feels like now.

well all i need to do now is finish up some last minture shopping and then start packing everything up. how saddening.

it has been awhile yes, but that is ok. more than 2 weeks since we graduated, that is crazy. it is slowly sinking in and by the time its august and everyone is leaving, i will definitely be sad about the whole notion of leaving home and all my friends. i liked the comfort and security of home and our town(s), it was nice. i liked our high school and the teachers there, i will miss it all.

last weekend i did go to orientation down in dc and it made me more excited about college in september. met a gazillion amount of people and given a lot of information, i still haven't looked through it all. orientation was fun, but it was hard for me to open up to people like some others did. at least i liked my roommates. next week i find out where i will be and who i will be rooming with, so that should be interesting.

now that graduation parties have dwindled and people are going off on their vacations, summer is turning into one lazy day after the next. of course i work almost 4 hours each morning with one day off during the week, but i still have the afternoon and the night. then there's church every sunday and i get to hang out with some college people and now mafia night might be established for once a week, which would be really cool. so then i have that to look forward to. some friends will be leaving soon and then ill be alone for a week or more, ah well.

i just plan to read a lot of books i have been meaning to read and watch movies that i should have watched ages ago and so on...

End of School Memories from liza and cleo

Period:
[1]

- Who was your closest friend in this class: Yeershati, Stacey, Megan, Saif
- Who was the teacher?: Bunny
- Was your crush in the class?: nope
- Was this your favorite teacher?: she knows a lot, but is not my fav


[2]

-What did you do during 2nd period?: talk and have discussions about a lot of things
-Who did you talk to the most?: colleen, jess, caroline, yeershati, stacey, becca, faye
-Anyone you wanted to shoot during 2nd period?: not really
-Were you failing this class?: not at all
-What class was it?: ap european history


[3]

- What class was it?: first semster: chorus, second semster: gym
- Did you ever fall asleep in this class?: during gym after spring break, i was really sick and we didn't have gym yet since the marking period had just started
- Was this ur favorite class?: it was fun playing volleyball and pickleball and awt is fun to an extent
- Who did you talk to the most?: first: katie, second: cheryl, matt, kristen, meg, yvonne, becca, jon



[Lunch]


- Who do you sit with at lunch? : our bc calc class, next to on left: cleo, on right: neil, across:cheryl/lipstein/liza
- Who do you talk to the most? liza, cleo, katie, saif, cheryl, neil, lipstein, ronnie, devang, josh...


[5/6]

- Who did you sit by?: neil, cheryl, lipstein, cleo, liza, devang
- Did you hate anyone in that class?: no
- What class was it?: bc calc
- Was it your fav. class?: best class in terms of people and teacher
- Were you failing that class?: no, but i have failed tests


[7/8]
- Teacher?: first semster: kane, homm, second semster: cooking teacher that can't control her class
- Who do you sit with?: first semester: cleo, second semester: mark renfree, dan long, jenna mcgarry, christina rom..(long italian name)
- People that get on ur nerves: yes...john cox
- Did you have a crush on this teacher?: nope though kane is cute


[9]

- What class was it?: ap german
- Did you ever fall asleep in this class?: yes, not like zinman though
- Was this ur favorite class?: our teacher is cool
- Who did you talk to the most?: cleo, liza, yvonne, zinman, derrick, adda


[10]
Teacher?: Brand
Favorite class?: english is my least favorite subject
Who do you talk to the most?: liza, yvonne

today was my last day of school as i know it...i think i am going to cry next week

i love the beach. i do not know what i would do without it.

and never again will i repeat last night. i have decided pizza is the remedy for everything because that was the only difference.

sometimes i wish i could turn back time and do things over again and relive memories, but as that would never happen, i am dealt with what happens as a result of past decisions.

today a bunch of stuff happened.

gill went on the music trip this morning
went to medowaskin with liza to see blossoms
ate sorbet for the first time in awhile
waited an hour to get my new license
did nothing at work, ill catch up tomorrow
couldn't put a book down as usual
haven't started my homework as usual

one more marking period left of my final high school year
i don't know what to make of it, i'm split, but that's life
i realized that i need to go summer clothes shopping and so will do so tomorrow night and most likely saturday afternoon instead of what i should be doing...studying for AP exams. i just can't bring myself to studying. i never was a very hard studier anyway, oh well. i know that i will most likely do fine on euro, calc after reviewing, bio probably semi well, and german who knows anymore. hopefully i will get at least 4 on each of them to save money and skip classes that wouldn't have helped me anyway.

i suppose the only real homework i have tonight that is remotely important is calculus and so i will do that.

i feel old

kind of

i like my presents this year. simple and useful.

in 18 years, i guess i have accomplished a lot in my life and gone through good times and bad times. i love my friends, my family, school, and life in general. so i am for the most part content. to the point that it will be hard for me to change my life all around and move on into the semi-real world.

this week is going to be amazing i think.

until next saturday! ^_^

information is starting to pour out now about next year. it is crazy and so confusing. i registered online for college orientation, one of the five. i am going to the last one which is july 6 to 8. i also now want to do this community building community program that is from august 28 to september 1. and since people can start moving in september 2 its perfect, also since mostly everyone will be gone by the time is the last week of summer. so basically the cbc program would be cleaning up the enironment, helping the homeless, and various other service projects in the dc area. there is also this project exploration with whitewater rafting and all these other cool things, but its too expensive really.

now i have think about housing and where i want to say as well as looking at the classes i will have to take. things are happening so fact now!

i got a prom dress today.

it totally made by day, especially since i was about to leave.

im sorry, but mrs. brand can be very rude. i hate how she imposes her opinions on us and mocks us and makes judgements.

it is already wednesday evening and i keep thinking it is a monday evening. i guess i should really say night as it is past 11. i have done no homework, but today there was not much anyways. got yelled at at work for not mailing something correctly. it was the first time i did it and i was basically called stupid and making the firm look like an idiot for not including two copies with the original copy. it kind of took away my happy mood that i had when school ended because of the surprising good weather. then she threatened that she would have to fire me if i did it again and although she said it jokingly, i still became sad about it all. it was one measly mistake...and it doesn't cost that much to send the rest of what i didn't in because she also accused me of wasting her client's time and money. sigh. guess this is one of the first lessons i have to learn, one mistake can be blown up and create a lot of repercussions, like having a memo sent to everyone in the firm because of my mistake. i am so embarrassed and humilated by it all, but what can i do. all i do is file and copy and answer phone messages at everyone's disposal and expected to do my job perfectly. its a good job don't get me wrong, but sometimes i wish it wasn't so professional. this is one of the reasons why i do not want to go into the business world, i need more freedom and space, not restraints. i feel so cooped up otherwise.

so i went to barnes and noble to cheer myself up as much as i could. read about my proposed major and some other ones. i think i will most likely change it only because i want to also work with how humans and the environment interact, or maybe ill just study that more in graduate school since i am going to have to get my master's degree in order to get a good job. eight years of school is definitely not what i look forward to, but at least it will be in a field that i enjoy. also found out, i need good writing skills. me and writing do not mix...this is horrible and i need speaking skills as well. both things need improvements.

another thing is i can't stop thinking about something and it annoys the hell out of me. i can't waste my time because i know where it will lead me and i have been lead there before many a time and it is always the same - a deadend. guess i never learn no matter how many times i try.

the scholarship looking is finally coming together i think. made a personal statement finally that i can use for a lot. the only ones left now that i would have to actually think about are the essay competition ones that i would most likely lose anyways.

this weekend i decided to do a lot of me stuff like get a new haircut and read some books (like yvonne's) that i haven't gotten around to and so on. look for a dress and go somewhere really random -> liza!!! and take pictures of course. ^_^

report card was a lot better this time around. my calculus grade went up a full grade, from C+ to B+, which I was extremely happy about. for some weird reason i went down in german, i don't know why because yes i talk sometimes, but i am one of the few that actually tries to listen and ask questions. then everything else was what i expected to get.

last night yvonne, liza, and cleo slept over and we had fun. at least i think so other than the hour they wanted to do something "exciting" but i don't care. i think i will make banana bread more often again because i made some last night and it's almost all gone. tis saddening. i also have some philsbury biscuit dough stuff which i don't really want...biscuits are ok. anyways.

i realized that i have a lot of schoolwork to do this weekend as well as scholarships. it is neverending! ill just start some tonight while watching a movie because i don't want to go to bed late monday. i am going away for a church fundraiser thing where our youth group sets up, serves, and cleans up tables at a retreat. it's a lot of fun and the group we serve this weekend has a cool sunday night program that we are allowed to attend.

after getting a few more things for my room last night, all that is really left is buying curtains which i had be planning on doing for the past year and a half. should i get something like this:

or


or something else?

All I know is I don't want those plastic blinds because they are ugly and boring and that is what we had and I took them down.

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

i think that describes me...though i don't know about fearlessly falling in love.


11 things I love(not necessarily in order of importance)

1. books
2. traveling
3. family
4. friends (QUARTET)
5. thunderstorms
6. snowy evenings
7. nature
8. children
9. god
10. movies/music
11. dresses

10 things I hate
1: being taken for granted
2: useless things
3. people who dont recycle
4. bubbleheads
5. arguements 24/7
6. not having my own room
7. my shoulders
8. weather not making up its mind
9. violence overload
10. media

5 firsts
Boyfriend / Girlfriend: still waiting
Crush: anthony
Kiss: still waiting
Best Friend: Francis (something like that) from Quebec, then came CLEO
Pet: Midnight the infamous black cat

30 have you ever
Picked flowers from someone else's lawn?: yes, buttercups!
Cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend?: no
Had a close friend die?: no
Overheard someone having a conversation with themselves?: haha, yes
Sniffed a permanent marker to get a mini-high?: not to get high
Doubted your sexuality?: nah
Written on the walls of a bathroom?: yes i think so
Stapled your finger?: no, thank goodness, i have enough injuries
ate something gross?: most likely
Cut your own hair?: trim
Been to Disney World?: 4 times
Been to a nude beach?: almost, theres one in victoria and we almost went down the stairs and then we noticed the sign
Climbed a pile of boulders so you could say 'I'm the king of the world!" ? yes or woodchips in watchung resveration in that backarea
Thrown up on a roller coaster?: no
Danced in your underwear?: yes when im hyper!
Danced in your underwear in front of someone else?: probably
Had a long distance relationship? no
Taped a 'kick me' sign on someone's back?: tried to
Ate something off the ground ignoring the 10 second rule?: oh most definitely
Gotten your tongue stuck to something cold?: yes but not like to a pole
Been to a fortune teller?: no...never thought about it
Believed something a fortune cookie told you? sometimes
Burnt things because you were bored?: when theres a fire
Stuck gum under a table?: no i throw them out
Had the same dream more than twice?: yes...at least i havent had this one dream lately that involves shapes and blocks and depth...its freaky and i wake up sweating
Talked to yourself on AIM?: yeah
Had to go to the hospital because of a fireworks accident? no, but i have a scar from a firecracker
Made a truck driver honk his horn? who hasnt?
Seen a UFO?: no
Who was the last person to kiss you: yvonne at the dinner
Hug you: i dont remember...i usually do the hugging
Call you: gillian
Text you: liza

Can you
Write with both hands?: my right hand is bad, but managable
Whistle?: yes to an extent
Snap?: yup
Roll your tongue?: yes
Touch your tongue to your nose?: close but no cigar
Tie a cherry stem in a knot using only your tongue?: huh?
Juggle?: with two balls!
Hacky-Sack?: haven't tried

Favorites
Color: greens and browns
TV show: oc, family guy, greys anatomy
Book: tooooooo mmmaaannnnyyyyy
Movie: a love song for bobby long and bambi of course!
Place: canada and germany
Number: 7, 8, 18
Piece of clothing: i dont know...
Smell: snow, rain, campfires
Sport to watch: football
Sport to play: volleyball/badminton

I really want to go camping now. Quartet...let's go sometime.

I don't like this existentialist paper.

from von and cleo!

THE BIG THREE.

Three Names You Go By
1. Deirdre
2. dd / d
3. jens

Three Parts Of Your Heritage
1. German
2. British
3. Scottish

Three Things That Scare You
1. people are extremely self-centered
2. george bush
3. myself when i act crazy/pseudo-drunk

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. A LOT OF FOOD
2. long books
3. a comfy bed

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. scoops shirt
2. brown pants
3. striped socks

Three of Your Favourite Bands or Musical Artists - At the Moment
1. rebecca st. james
2. alanis morisette
3. cascada

Three of Your Favourite Songs - At the Moment
1. hero by bethany dillon
2. bad boy by cascada
3. lifesong by casting crowns

Three Things You Want In A Relationship (Other Than Real Love)
1. carefreeness
2. humor
3. mystery

Two Truths And A Lie
1. i have shooting pains
2. i like the smell of coffee
3. i have road rage

Three Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeal To You If You Are Straight, or About The Same Sex If You Are Homosexual, or About Both Sexes If You Are Bisexual
1. face
2. fitness
3. attitude

Three Of Your Favourite Hobbies
1. curling up and reading books/movies
2. making collages with mod-podges
3. having a blast with friends

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now
1. not worry about school (calc, ack!)
2. read a good book in bed
3. hang out with friends


Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation
1. europe
2. africa
3. canada


Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. make a difference in the environment
2. learn as many languages as i can
3. travel to all seven continents and seas

Three People I Would Like To See Take This Quiz
1. Q
2. sarah
3. faye

Three Reasons You're Glad You Are Alive
1. my sister and all her accomplishments
2. i want to have a family
3. i love my friends and my life


met tomorrow!! yay! just getting out of school is wonderful!

i saw cats today at njpac with my mom. even though it wasn't like the broadway version, for a touring company it was really good. makes me want to watch the movie and listen to the music. also reminds me of when i was obsessed with it for a summer back in middle school, remember cleo? anyway, it was a nice afternoon then. i think im finally almost caught up with my filing at work, being gone for 3 weeks really sets you back. i haven't started any of my homework. even though gpas have frozen, i still worry as ever. i dont mind though i guess.

dates for orientation at gw have come out. the first two i cant go to because of graduation and exams. too bad they weren't earlier, then i could have missed some school. the other ones are during the first two weeks that school has ended. oh well. lately there have been shooting pains up and down my arm for some weird reason. i havent said anything at therapy yet about it because im pretty sure it happened the last time. the bad thing is advil doesn't stop the pain. side effect i suppose.

last night an alarm we put in went off which was detecting presence of carbon monoxide. i was half asleep so i didn't know what was going on, but i do remember having the windows all open so that fresh air could get in and so i was very cold. but it was better to be cold than becoming unconscious snd dying from breathing in carbon monoxide without knowing it.

i think i am going to join bally because without dancing and only therapy, i now only have toned arms. yes that is nice but i lost a lot of my flexibility and probably endurance and so on. and i want to go back to gym since i have gotten tired of just not doing gym and doing gym reports on different sports - i just picked weird ones like curling and squash.

other than not stepping outside of my house since going to therapy on friday until yesterday when i went to therapy, yesterday was very productive. i was thinking that we as in the quartet, would probably like to be in a condo or whatever it is better than in a motel room, sooooo thanks to colleen (ill love you forever and a day), we rented a place, well i did the work but whatever i don't mind. im glad i wasn't scared about what it looked like because the one picture they had was really crappy, but then she sent us more and it looks so pretty.

ok, then for therapy it went really well and i can drive and go to work again thank goodness! and in celebration i decide to help clo and von with their bridge, not exactly a party, but best thing i had done in three days. then went shopping with clo and soph at bridgewater. now i am going out for more shopping just after breakfast.

the bad thing is...i think i slept on my right arm wrong or on it too much, though i did have a really cool dream of being on an island, at first with no one else then with some more people and then we had to do this competition. but after practicing when walking around now that i think of it, it wasn't really an island after all, or was it....so confusing.

Surgery went a lot better this time around, thank goodness. I don't think I could have dealt with a repeat fall. And I will be able to drive most likely by Wednesday and go back to work, which is good. I need money and I hate asking people for rides.

This Senior Project sounds so cool, as Liza told me earlier and she is very right. I really want to do it. Getting out of Finals? Heck yeah! Plus you miss a lot of school in June, which can be good and bad depending if a lot of people are doing it or not many at all. I am hoping that if I do do it I will be interning at some organization that has to do with the environment and biology, of course!

This weekend will be very boring it seems up until Monday night because then I see a movie with the Quartet and Tuesday I am going to Yvonne's house. Other than that, I guess I will just be staying at home the whole time, so boring.

I have to say that last year was quite eventful. I will have to steal what Vanessa did only because it is a good idea and I like it alot better than what my mom makes me do, so this will take the place of that.

January: went on the town ski trips, my church's was canceled due to lack of snow, met derek in nyc, cell phone lost/stolen
February: recruited for props for west side story with liza, went to tuscora as usual with the youth group and had a blast
March: my mom's car was almost, but not quite, totaled by a drunk driver and sadly not charged for anything because of his "connections"
April: got my license, went to disney world, yvonne, liza, cleo and i first started calling ourselves the quartet, video camera broke, cell phone lost/stolen, visited colleges and realized i wanted to go to gw, had a bumper crash with my car
May: went to junior prom and had a lot of fun despite being dateless, ap exams, drove to the beach for the first time (my mom doesn't know :P)
June: my mom's car finally got back from the shop, some nice seniors graduate, beach and tent party, got another job at a law firm, got new video camera
July: first time on a mission trip so went to tennessee and had an amazing experience, football game led to shoulder dislocation, this caused me to quit scoops (yes!) and be told i needed surgery on both arms, fun little roadtrips, my car was fixed
August: California with the family, first surgery on left arm, interesting time doing my renaissance compedium
September: quit dancing for the year, started senior year
October: killers concert, last sats ever, rehab killing my arm, applepicking
November: sleepover and shopping spree with quartet, regained my motion for my left arm, painted a bedroom for an elderly couple at church, moved into a new law office at work
December: sledding, got a digital camera, second surgery on right shoulder, bowling, spent new years at lizas, accepted into rutgers and GW!

So for this next year I hope that I can be more organized that I have been - it has gotten worse than usual and that I can hopefully go back to dancing or at least start up jogging to get some decent amount of exercise. I feel so out of shape, it is extremely annoying. That my surgeries have been quite successful and I do not have to undergo anything like this again. That I will definitely go to Mexico and perhaps Russia, we shall see about that one. And finally, that the rest of my senior year will be the best it can be and college will help me act more myself because I honestly feel cooped up, I need to go places and do something!

And to my best friends in the world who have always been there for me, thank you again and again!

Yes it is not the best picture, but its the most recent of have with all of us together.

the surgery went very well the doctor said and i recovered a lot better, which is good
now i can feel those pills working and therefore the dizziness...ugh that makes me tired as well
gw sent me their financial aid stuff yesterday too. they are planning to help me pay up to 25,000. thank goodness. but they also said that that could change because of fafsa and taxes. so we shall see.
i think ill lie back down now.

today after school i waited for the mail to come and took a shower to calm myself. of course i did not get anything only something from rutgers yet again. ugh!
went to work which was crazy since apparently there was a fire in the morning and all the power went out. then on the way home i was stuck in an hour traffic instead of my usual 15 minute ride home because there was major flooding on the parkway or something so everything was backed up. while waiting i decided to call gillian and ask her to check my email and....there was an email waiting saying i got in! im so estatic! eeee! now i can go visit vanessa and my other friend jackie for a weekend or something :)

the rest of the evening was a bit of an adventure too involving caroling with instruments and a spare tire saving a car.